Why did the phone wear glasses? ... Because it lost its contacts!
What tunes do optometrist's listen to? ...... itunes!
What happened to the lab tech when he fell into the lens grinder? .... He made a spectacle of himself!
Patient: "I keep getting a stabbing pain in my eye when I drink coffee."..Optometrist: "Have you tried taking the spoon out of the cup?
Why did the cyclops close his school? ..... He only had one pupil!
Sol had lived a long life. On his deathbed he asked, "I just need to know, which one was clearer, A or B?
The optometrist asked the Czech man, "Can you read the bottom line? ... The patient replied, "Of course! CZWXNQSTACZ I even know the guy!"
Patients come in embarrassed that they sat on their glasses. ...We fix them, then we tell them, "Well, you know what they say, hindsight is 2020."
A little boy put on his very first glasses......."Wow! These are like HD vision!" High Definition! (True story!)
These jokes just keep getting cornea and cornea!